I Get It Now
by DeadPaperMuteandWhite
Summary: Picking up from the season finale. C/O focused. I am a scrub who owns nothing of value, including these characters and universe!
1. Chapter 1

This is my very first chapter of my very first fanfic...please be kind ;) Going to do my best to see this through!

* * *

After a few moments of chewing the half piece of gum Meredith had given her, Cristina had a sudden burst of energy. "I'm serious about nobody falling asleep."

"Ok." Meredith sighed.

Cristina frowned at her, then started to sing at the top of her lungs. "THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER CLIMBED UP THE WATER FAUCET. DOWN CAME THE RAIN AND- AND- TOLD THE SPIDER TO SUCK IT. OUT CAME THE SUN FROM ITS COZY LITTLE CLOSET AND THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER GOT DRUNK AND TRIED TO FU-"

"Do not ever sing to my child!" Meredith exclaimed.

"Deal. ARIZONA ROBBINS, ARE YOU AWAKE?"

"Uh-huh." Arizona said with mock cheerfulness.

"MARK SLOAN, ARE YOU AWAKE?"

"Sr, mmph, hmmm."

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

"Sir, yes, sir," Mark replied with as much strength as he could muster.

"BARRY, ARE YOU AWAKE?"

"It's Jerry."

"I KNEW THAT. DEREK SHEPHARD, ARE YOU AWAKE?"

"Bones, muscles..." he mumbled.

"MEREDITH GREY, WAKE HIM UP PROPERLY AND ARE YOU AWAKE?"

"OK! yes, I am, I- I mean, I will and I am. Do you have to yell?" she complained as she tugged on Derek's jacket and pulled him up into a sitting position.

"YES!" Cristina took a couple of deep breaths then started singing again. "99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 99 BOTTLES OF BEER! TAKE ONE DOWN AND PASS IT AROUND, 98 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!" She continued in that manner- stopping every 10 bottles or so to do roll call. They all dutifully responded, or at least grumbled, until the roll call between bottles 45 and 46 when Arizona responded, "Wait! Did you hear that?"

"WHAT?" Cristina responded.

"Shhhhhh. Listen." The all held their breaths and listened.

"I don't hear anyth-" "SH-SH-SHHH!" Meredith cut Derek off. Just then they all heard it, faint, but definitely there. Someone yelling, "Helloooo!" Cristina jumped to her feet then swayed at the sudden movement. "HELLOOOOOOOO!" She yelled, then listened. After a few seconds, she heard a response faintly in the distance. "Is someone out there?" "YES! YES! YES! WE WERE IN A PLANE CRASH! YES!"

* * *

"...we're starting to get a bit concerned here."

Owen grabbed his phone and called Cristina- straight to voicemail. He called Derek- staight to voicemail. Robbins the same. He looked at his watch. If they were delayed getting there, they could just be delayed coming back. They might all be up in the air.

Meanwhile, his hospital line kept spewing messages- about a speaking engagement next month, about a proposed change the nursing schedule, about his dry cleaning, and then, "Dr. Hunt, this is Dr. Sheehan, again. Please call me as soon as you get this message." That message had been left at 9 am that morning and it was now almost 8 pm. He skipped through the rest of his messages, but that was the last one Dr. Sheehan had left. He grabbed the phone off the receiver and dialed the number she had left. "Boise Memorial, how may I direct your call." "Dr. Sheehan, please." "I'm sorry, she's not taking any calls, would you like her voicemail?" "No. This is an emergency. Please have her paged." "Yes, sir," the girl on the end of the line said before placing him on hold. Owen grumbled, "how freaking hard was that?" He was fuming, but he took a deep breath to try and steady himself before-

"Hello, this is Dr. Sheehan."

"This is Dr. Hunt."

"Dr. Hunt! I'm so glad to finally hear from you! Do you have an update on your staff?"

"No. I just got your messages," Owen said deliberately. The line was silent for a moment, then Dr. Sheehan stammered, "Oh, my God." She paused for what seemed like an eternity. "I assumed you knew."

"Knew WHAT?" Owen's heart was pounding in his ears. "Dr. Sheehan, what the HELL is going on?"

"The plane, it- it never got here. Air traffic control's last contact with it was at 6:30 this morning. Nobody know's where they are."

"Why the HELL didn't you have me paged?" "I- I'm sorry. I just assumed-" "Why would you assume that I knew?" Dr. Sheehan cleared her throat. "Dr. Hunt, I sincerely apologize." She was speaking in that tone doctors get when they are delivering bad news. "The plane never arrived this morning. There was no obvious crash site, so they are assuming they made an emergency landing somewhere. Unfortunetely, they haven't picked up anything from the plane's transmitter, either. They have been searching since just before 9 am this morning. I can give you the contact information for the representative from the FAA who has been sending us updates."

"Thank you," Owen said, realizng that his whole body suddenly felt numb. "I'm sorry, I know how busy things can get, I-" "No, I'm sorry, Dr, Hunt, I should have tried harder to get in touch with you." Owen rubbed his eyes. "My wife...she was on the plane." Owen's mind was spinning. He was holding onto the phone like it was a lifeline. As soon as he let go of it he was going to have to spring into action and he was terrified of where that path would lead him.

"I am so sorry, Dr. Hunt. I assure you they are doing everything they can to find them."

Owen took a deep breath, "OK. Who is the contact at the FAA?"


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for your comments! I can't tell you how much they mean to me! I've been lurking here for a while, but finally decided to take the plunge and try writing.

After every new episode, I always over-analyze and write fan-fic in my mind to try and make sense of it all, and let's face it, Season 8 has been a BITCH to make sense of! So, thank you for reading (my personal therapy session) and please let me know what you think!  
(made a tweak right after published...oops)

* * *

Cristina was pacing around the crash site. "They're coming!

"Yes, we know," Meredith said. "You should sit down."

"Hmmmm, no. I really think I should go out and meet them."

"I really think you shouldn't wander around in the dark in the middle of a forest in the middle of the night."

"They- them out there- they're are doing it!"

"They have light! And safety in numbers!"

"Phfst, such a mom," Cristina mumbled. She walked over to the plane and looked in the window.

"How's it going, Gary, let me check your heart rate again."

"It's Jerry- I know you know that, so just stop it."

"Fair enough." Cristina sighed. She reached through the window with her good arm and tried to grab Jerry's wrist, but he moved it away. "No! You checked my heart rate 5 minutes ago and 5 minutes before that and 5 minutes before THAT! ET CETERA! Leave me alone!"

"No way! I have to know! I have to know everyone's status so when the rescuers come I can tell them so they can prioritize everyone accordingly!" She tried to grab his wrist again, but he moved it out of her reach again and glared at her.

"Fine. Be that way, LARRY, but that feistiness of yours just dropped your priority status down a few notches."

"Dr. Yang," Arizona said weakly. "You can thoroughly examine me or my stuff or parts or... whatever." Cristina turned her head and stared at her, then blinked. "I...I will not tell Callie you made that offer."

"Heh," Mark groaned.

Cristina turned her back on the pilot, marched into the middle of the clearing and yelled, "HELLO!"

"Hello?" The voice came from the woods to her right. She turned her head and saw four flashlights about 100 yards away. She took off towards them at a jog and they picked up their pace, as well. Closer and closer. "You're here! You're here! You're- boy scouts?"

* * *

Owen and Callie strode across the tarmac toward a small airplane. A tall, slender man with dark hair was standing next to the plane looking at his phone. As they approached, Owen called out to his old friend, "Hey, Mike!"

"Owen! Hey, man," he said as they shook hands and clapped each other on the shoulder. "It's good to see you, but I'm sorry it's under these circumstances."

"Well, I really appreciate you doing this for us. Please let me know any expenses that-"

"No, no, no," Mike protested, "Consider it payback for all the jams you got me out of back at Harvard. You must be Dr. Torres," he said, turning to the other doctor. "Callie," she said before stepping forward and giving him a hug. She smiled at him as she stepped back, her eyes brimming with tears. Owen squeezed her shoulder. She was holding it together really well considering two of the most important people in her life were missing. The only time she had cried since she had met him at the hospital was when they dropped Sophia off at Meredith & Derek's house so that April and Alex could watch her and Zola together.

"Alright, let's get going," Mike said. The three of them boarded the small plane, which only held four people. Owen had offered the fourth space to Thatcher Grey, but he decided to wait and take the first flight the next morning with his girlfriend. For six staff members, Owen had only had to make two emergency contact calls. Lexie had her dad listed and Arizona had listed Callie, but Mark's emergency contact was Derek, Derek's was Meredith, and Meredith's was Cristina. Owen nearly lost it when he had opened Cristina's file and seen his own name listed. He couldn't explain why that meant so much to him.

Mike offered to let Owen sit in the front with him, but Owen chose to sit in the back with Callie. He didn't want her to be alone and he didn't feel like catching up with Mike, who he hadn't seen since before his last tour. How could he sum up the last few years? Hell, he was having trouble making sense of the last 48 hours...Cristina. Two nights ago she had shown up at the firehouse and lain on him for a few moments. One night ago in the on-call room, what he thought might be the beginning of a reunion had turned into a goodbye. Owen wanted to do the right by Cristina. He didn't feel like he had a right to have a say in what she did given what he had done, and he felt like he needed to give her space, but Teddy- even though she knew what he had done, Teddy told him to fight. He had promised he would fight, and he wanted to so badly, but he really had to figure out exactly what that meant.

He knew she had been warring with herself. He knew she loved him. He knew she was restless in Seattle and anxious to prove herself elsewhere. He knew that because they had talked about it in that before that seemed so very long ago now:

before the biggest mistake of his life,

before that goddamned, pointless therapy,

before he checked out, but she asked him to stay,

before he lashed out at her in front of their friends,

before she lashed out at him professionally,

before he was forced to ask too much of her for the sake of patient care,

before they buried themselves in sex,

before the talking stopped,

before the abortion...it was too easy to blame all their problems on the abortion. It was true- that event in their relationship had ripped up the rug and exposed all of the things they had swept under it, but it wasn't the source, entirely. There had been too many things left unsaid and too many things assumed. Their chemistry and passion for each other burned so bright, it had blinded them to some important things. They had to sort it out. They had to sort it out now, because their connection was something special. He believed it was once-in-a-lifetime special and it was worth doing the work, no matter how painful it would be.

He sighed as he settled back into his seat and took one last look at his phone before turning it off. The contact at the FAA had promised to let him know as soon as they had any new information. There had been helicopters searching throughout the day, but unfortunately, the target area was very large. They had no way of knowing exactly when the plane had gone down and there wasn't any smoke trail for them to follow. It was a strange situation, because it was clear that the plane hadn't exploded, and yet the transmitter had apparently been damaged enough for it not to function. They had resumed the search after dark in hopes that if there were any survivors, they may have been able to build a fire. Owen hoped that, given his background, he might be allowed to join the search in the morning if it was still going on.

As they took off, he looked over at Callie, who was sitting to his right. She was praying with her eyes closed, muttering into the rosary she had gathered in her hands. Owen wasn't exactly a spiritual person, but he believed in his gut and it was telling him that Cristina was still alive. It wasn't much, but it was all that was keeping him on his feet at the moment.

Twenty minutes into the flight, Owen saw Mike waving his hand. Owen unbuckled his seat belt and went and knelt next to him. "What's up?" he yelled over the noise of the small plane.

"I'm picking up chatter on the radio about a rescue mission that is underway west of Boise."

"Rescue mission? They said rescue, not recovery mission?" Owen yelled back. 'Rescue mission' meant survivors; 'recovery mission' did not. Mike held up his finger for quiet then adjusted the headset he was wearing. After a moment he said, "Yes, it's definitely a rescue mission!"

Owen sat back on his feet and put his face in his hands.


	3. Chapter 3

Please excuse any blunders in my recount of the rescue procedures and medical type things :D

Also, thank you again for the reviews, they are greatly appreciated!

* * *

Cristina sat in the helicopter trying not to think about the fact that she was up in the air again. She wasn't thirsty or hungry anymore thanks to that Boy Scout troop. She shook her head and chuckled. Freaking boy scouts- Eagle scouts to be exact. A bunch of man-boys in matching shorts. They had hiked out into the middle of nowhere and were just settling down in their camp when they heard her. Those scouts. She would never forget the looks on their faces. At first, they were excited and bright-eyed, clearly thinking that they had just stepped into the middle of some kickass action movie. They became pale and sullen, though, after they heard Cristina's description of all of the injuries her group had suffered and that there was a dead body just a little ways away, through the trees. One of the scouts stepped up, though. A skinny kid, probably her exact same height and weight, with big brown eyes and brown hair, named Ethan. He had turned pale like the rest, but his eyes were still bright. He wasn't afraid to go near them, so while the rest of the scouts focused building a huge fire and preparing food, she gave him the job of hydrating the injured- going from person to person and rationing the water. She also gave him some things to watch for in them that were signs they were taking a turn for the worse. "Future doctor," she had called him with pride before she left. He had performed admirably and allowed her to focus on communicating with the rescue team. The scout leader who was with them had a walkie-talkie that they used to send messages to the rest of the troop back at their campsite, who in turn relayed the information to the forest service via radio.

The first helicopter came about an hour after the boy scouts got to the crash site. The forest was very dense, but they were able to find a suitable clearing about 200 yards away. The first team of paramedics brought a metal worker with them to start working on extracting Jerry from the plane. Mark and Arizona were sent off first, as they were the most critical. Meredith and Derek went next. It took some effort for Cristina to convince Jerry that he didn't go last because he had annoyed her. Even though his injuries would likely change his life for ever, he was actually the most stable after Cristina and Meredith. Besides, it made sense to keep Meredith and Derek together.

Cristina thought the whole operation had gone as well as could be expected. She was pleased with how the rescue team had listened to her and taken her suggestions. She had done everything she could, but the work wasn't done yet. She was especially anxious to get a full assessment of Mark's chest injuries. Surely, they would let her consult. She was a soon-to-be fellow at the Mayo Clinic, after all.

Cristina adjusted herself in her seat, trying to find a comfortable position. Her whole body ached, but most notably her shoulder. She took a drink from her water bottle and winced. Her throat was raw and her voice shot after all the singing, shouting, and barking of orders she had done. She remembered a time she was getting over a cold and her voice had been hoarse and raspy. Owen had commented on how sexy it was... NO she thought. Not going there. Just that one thought of him made tears start to well up in her eyes. She had to build a damn to keep her feelings about him contained and it had to start now. She had told him she was leaving and they would discuss it further when she got back from this trip, but that was as far as she had gotten. She hadn't worked out exactly what she was going to say next. She felt like she had to leave, but actually doing it was-... NO! She didn't have time to think about this or be sentimental. There was still work to be done. She needed to focus and yet the exhaustion was setting in and her eyelids were so heavy. They weighed a ton and maybe if she just rested them for a few moments...

Cristina closed her eyes and imagined herself in an OR. It was clean and shiny. All the lines were straight and the surfaces smooth and clean. There was a tray of surgical instruments next to her and they were perfect in every way and also very clean. She was clean, too. Her fingernails were immaculate. Everything was blue and silver. The only thing that was missing was red. Blood. She needed a patient to fix. Suddenly, she heard a voice over her left shoulder. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Just calm down, calm down. Tell me what the problem is."

"Owen." Cristina moaned, but she couldn't look at him.

"I'm here," he replied.

Cristina stared down at the patient on the table in front of her. It was Mark Sloan. He was deathly pale and had a pinecone sticking out of his chest. She looked to her perfect instrument tray, but it had turned to an assortment of twigs and plastic utensils and travel sized toiletries. There was something very angry just to her right, it was.. something SO angry, but she couldn't, she wouldn't look at it. "Owen, I can't stop, I have to keep going." She had a twig in her hand and was pulling off its leaves. Her shoulder was starting to ache from the effort.

"I know, just keep going, keep going."

The darkness said, "You stop or I will KILL YOU!"

"HEY! HEY!" Owen yelled. "That is the woman that I love, I will always be in love with her! She's the love of my life! I will never love another woman! You hurt her, you touch her and I will KILL YOU!"

"I said stay back," the darkness hissed.

Cristina snuck a look at Owen. He was terrified, and sad. She kept pulling leaves off the twig, but they seemed to keep coming back. The table and the floor were covered with green.

Suddenly, Lexie was in front of her. "Take me," she said. Cristina gasped. Wasn't she operating on McDreamy? Damn it, no, it was Sloan. Lexie continued, "You want someone, right? I know how this works, you demand something or someone. The man on the table, he's the love of my life, but he's a father. Take me. It will hurt him, but it will spare his daughter. Take me."

"Lexie," Cristina mumbled sadly. She felt the darkness focus on Lexie.

"Tell Mark I love him and that I'm sorry."

Cristina looked to Owen. He gave her the slightest of nods. He was going to try and overcome the darkness and Cristina had to distract it.

"W-w-wait!" Cristina said. "She's a Lexipedia or-or I mean, an encyclopedia, I mean, she-she has a heart of gold. Bullets will just ricochet off of it and they might come back and hit you! She's- she's my best friend's sister, she was the best intern I ever had, people love her! And I'm not actually fixing Mark- all I have is this damn stupid twig!" She was up to her waist the pile leaves she had pulled off the twig. "Please!"

Just then Owen made a move. "BANG!" The darkness exploded and Cristina looked over at Owen who was now sprawled out on the ground and yelled, "NO! NO!"

She was awake and her heart was pounding. She looked around and either she hadn't actually yelled, or the others couldn't hear her because of the noise of the helicopter. It didn't really matter. She was done. She had no interest in sleeping. At. All.

* * *

About an hour after the last helicopter arrived at the hospital, Mike landed his plane at a small private airport outside of Boise. It had taken longer than expected to get there. The FAA had cleared a large airspace around the crash to facilitate the rescue mission, and they had to fly out of the way to avoid it.

Before they parted, Owen said to Mike, "I owe you a drink, or several actually."

"I'm going to hold you to that," Mike said with a smile before saying goodbye and heading off to refuel the plane. He was going to fly back that night, even though they had offered him a room to stay in. One of the hotels in the chain Callie's father owned was near the hospital and he already had a block of rooms set aside indefinitely for anyone affected by the crash who might need them.

Owen and Callie both listened to their voicemail messages as they walked toward the taxi Boise Memorial had arrange to be waiting for them. Owen's first message was from his contact at the FAA and had come shortly after they took off. Some campers had made contact with survivors and the crash site had been located. There was a message from Dr. Webber, who Owen had made acting Chief of Surgery, and one from Thatcher Grey, giving him his flight information for the next morning. Finally, there was another message from the FAA contact telling him they would be debriefed as soon as they arrived at the hospital. Owen hung up his phone just as they approached the taxi. He spoke to the driver and they headed out. Callie hung up her phone shortly after. "Any messages from yours?" he asked.

"No," she replied. "Cristina?"

"No," Owen replied then turned to look out the window. He had really hoped she would have called, but she could be in surgery or in shock. There was no telling. He tried not to let it worry him too much. Callie continued to talk. Her father would be there shortly to meet them at the hospital and Arizona's parents were going to drive to Seattle from Portland the next day and bring Sophia later that night. Owen nodded as if he was listening and caught most of what she said, but his mind was elsewhere. He hadn't called his mom. He hadn't called Cristina's mom yet, either. He didn't even know how to get in touch with her. Family was a touchy subject with Cristina. If you brought up her mom, you would likely hear a tirade about how horrible and vapid she was. If you brought up her dad, Cristina would shut down...unless it was one of the times that she broke open. Cristina's father was hallowed ground for her and she kept her feelings about him tightly under wraps. Owen would never forget the day she let her guard down and released some of those feelings. Over twenty years later and they were still so raw and intense, it had broken his heart. He had learned over time that she felt just about everything intensely. She just didn't express it or manage it the way most people did. It made her frustrating and fascianting. He would never claim to have her totally figured out- that might take a lifetime, but he hoped he would be able to have that with her to try.

After what seemed like an eternity, they finally arrived at Boise Memorial. They asked for the Chief of Surgery, Dr. Vaughn, as they had been instructed, and after greeting them in the lobby, he led them to a nearby conference room. Callie and Owen sat together on one side of the table across from the other doctor. Dr. Vaughn was an older man with a round face and dark curly hair that had grown long on top. His blue eyes were weary, but then that was to be expected at around 3am in the morning. He cleared his throat before beginning to speak. "The plane went down west of Boise in the-"

"Yeah, we know," Callie interrupted. Can you just skip to the part where you tell us about our people?" Dr. Vaughn looked taken aback. It was clear that he had a prepared statement he was supposed read.

"I definitely want to be fully debriefed on the crash and rescue mission," Owen said, trying to ease the tension. "If you could, please, bring us up to speed on the status of our people first, we would appreciate it."

"OK," Dr. Vaughn replied. "I regret to inform you that one passenger, Alexandra Grey, died at the scene of the crash. She has been the only fatality." Owen nodded and looked down at his hands. It was awful. It was unspeakably horrible that Lexie was gone, but he couldn't help wondering-

"What about the others?" Callie said.

"Two critical, two severe, one moderate, one minor."

"Arizona Robbins?"

"Critical. Currently in surgery. Internal injuries and a compound femur fracture." Callie jumped to her feet and leaned over the table.

"I'm scrubbing in."

"I'm sorry. I can't allow you to do that."

"I'm an orthopedic surgeon!"

"We have orthopedic surgeons."

"I'M A FREAKING AMAZING ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON!" Owen stood up and put this arm around Callie's shoulders.

"You know they can't let you scrub in." Callie turned her face toward him and released a tirade in Spanish that he was sure contained a high volume of expletives. "I didn't understand any of that," he said calmly when she had finished, "but you know the rules. Are you ready to sit down?" Callie glared at him before sitting back down and crossing her arms. Owen looked at Dr. Vaughn and smiled apologetically. Owen was about to ask about Cristina, but Dr. Vaughn spoke first.

"The other critical patient is Mark Sloan."

"Oh, my God." Callie moaned. Owen patted her hand.

"He has massive injuries to his chest. He had cardiac tamponade in the field, but one of the other survivors performed a pericardiocentesis that saved his life. The last time I checked, both of their surgeries were going well. Due to the nature of their injuries, there are no guarantees, of course, and due to the conditions they were in, the risk of infection is very high, but-"

"I understand." Callie said.

"What about Cristina Yang?" Owen said, finally. He was confused when he saw a smile play on Dr. Vaughn lips.

"She sustained only mild injuries: a dislocated shoulder and a small laceration on her forehead." Owen let out the breath he had been holding. He was flooded with relief, but then felt bad that his news was so good when Callie's had been so bad- twice, but when he glanced at her and she smiled at him.

"Where is she?" Owen asked.

"That's an excellent question," Dr. Vaughn replied, trying again to suppress a smile.

"Wha-? What do you mean?" Owen's hackles were up.

"She doesn't stay in one place for very long. She tried to talk her way into Mark Sloan's surgery, she was caught up the gallery watching Arizona Robbins's surgery, we're lucky she let us examine her!"

Owen was incredulous. "She's a petite woman, she shouldn't be that hard to contain!"

"I know," Dr. Vaughn said, biting his bottom lip and looking distinctly embarrassed, "but, she's crafty."

Callie clapped her hand over her mouth to suppress a giggle. She and Owen looked at each other, then burst out laughing. After a few moments, Dr. Vaughn joined in. It was a well needed release from all of the tension they had been feeling. By the time they had finished laughing, Owen was clutching his side, and Callie had tears streaming down her face.

When they could all breath normally again, Dr. Vaughn gave them brief descriptions of the rest of the passengers' injuries. It was decided that Owen would be allowed to scrub in, so he could monitor all the surgeries going on and provide updates.

When they exited the conference room back into the lobby, Callie's father was waiting there. Owen promised to check in on the others as soon as he'd had a chance to see Cristina. Dr. Vaughn assigned him an intern named Daniel to help him find anything he needed in the hospital.

It turned out they really didn't know where Cristina was, so Owen figured he would start with her room.

Cristina was back in Meredith's room and was pacing as much as she could attached to an IV. Meredith tried to sit up straighter in her bed and scoot herself over to one side of it. It was difficult with the big bandage on her leg and the painkillers she had been given. "Come here and sit next to me," she said to Cristina, patting the space she had made.

"I'm fine," Cristina said in something barely more than a whisper. She hardly had any voice left, but was determined to make the most of it. "I still can't believe they wouldn't even let me look at Mark's scans. And what was the harm in watching Robbins' surgery?"

"You're exhausted and I think you might be delirious."

"Speak for yourself, muffin head." Meredith had a large white bandage that covered most of the back of her head. They had to cut her hair in the process of fixing her scalp laceration. She was going to have to have it cut into a bob, eventually. "I'm sharp as a tack. I'm good."

"Everybody's okay, now. They're all being taken care of-"

"Everybody is not okay," Cristina hissed at her.

Owen's heart was pounding as he strode toward Cristina's room, then it fell when he found it empty. He was standing in the middle of it rubbing his eyes when he heard a voice that sounded like Meredith Grey's. He followed it down the hall, just three doors down and then he saw her. The door was open several inches and Cristina was standing at the end of a bed with her back to the door, clad in a hospital gown and slippers. One arm was in a sling and her good hand was grasping her IV stand. Owen shook his head. He and the whole rest of the hospital were now familiar with her purple underwear with the blue trim.

"Get her a fresh IV bag," he said quietly to Daniel the intern, "and make sure they put a sedative in it." Daniel nodded walked away as Owen slowly opened the door wider.

"I'm going to go check on Jerry next, Cristina croaked. They won't be expecting that. I know we just met, but I feel like he and I have a special bond and-"

"Cristina?" Owen said quietly.

Cristina stopped talking. He paused then took a couple steps closer to her. He was just an arms length away from her now. "Cristina," he said again. After a moment, she turned around, her eyes shining with tears. They both took a step toward each other and Owen gathered her in his arms as she buried her face in his chest.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you again for reading and reviewing! A lot of this is me trying to work out what some of the thoughts and feelings may have been behind the characters' actions during this season, and some previous seasons, too. I hope it makes some sense...

P.S. I gotta say, I'm glad that all the rescuing business is over! :)

* * *

Owen rocked Cristina slowly back and forth. "I got you," he said softly. He rubbed her back as she cried quietly- she didn't have the voice or energy to do more. They sat down on the edge of the second bed in the room which would be occupied by Derek when he was out of surgery. Cristina kept her head on his shoulder and her face buried in his neck. When Owen glanced over at Meredith, he thought he registered a look of shock on her face that she quickly tried to hide. He thought it was odd, but shrugged it off. After a couple minutes, Cristina started to calm down and breathe normally.

"Meredith," Owen said, "I'm so sorry about Lexie." Meredith nodded and looked down at her hands as tears welled up in her eyes. Owen continued, "Your father's coming in the morning. I need to notify him, but I wondered if you thought I should wait and do it in person or-"

"Call him," Meredith interrupted. "He won't want to come if she's not here." Owen started to say something, but stopped himself. He knew that Meredith Grey's relationship with her father was complicated and that she probably wouldn't appreciate him commenting on her personal business. Based on the conversation he had earlier that night with Thatcher Grey, Owen was sure he would still show up, so he said, "Okay. We'll see." Meredith gave him a curious glare, then looked back down at her hands. "Let me know if there's anything you or Derek need." Meredith nodded without looking at him.

Owen turned his attention back to Cristina. She was staring blankly at Meredith with red puffy eyes. Owen gently stroked her cheek with his thumb then raised her chin to so she was looking him in the eye. "Are you ready to go to your room?" She nodded as her eyes filled up with tears again. They walked together slowly back to her room. Cristina clung tightly to the back of Owen's shirt with her good hand and he managed to help hold her up and maneuver the IV stand. As they got her room, Daniel returned with her fresh IV bag. Owen took it from him and told him he'd have him paged when he needed him again.

Once they were in the room, Owen quickly switched out Cristina's IV bag. She just stood there, still clutching his shirt, and stared at the bed.

"Are you ready to get some sleep?" he asked her.

She shook her head then said in her raspy whisper, "I dozed off earlier and it was not pretty."

He stepped closer to her, slide his arm around her waist, and said softly in her ear, "I had a sedative put in your IV bag." She gasped, then gave him a look usually reserved for kids who just found out they were going to Disney World. "I promise I'll stay until you're out," he continued. "It shouldn't be long now." As if on cue, Cristina started to sway on her feet. Owen tightened his hold around her waist and led her to the bed. He helped her lay down, then kicked of his shoes and joined her. She snuggled into him with her head on his shoulder.

"Crap," Owen said. "I forgot to ask if you were hungry."

"Mmmm, no." Cristina said, shaking her head. "The scouts fed me SPAM."

Owen chuckled, "I think they may have miscalculated your dosage!"

"No, no, no," she slurred. "We were rescued by real boy Eagle scouts and they fed us fried SPAM. It was the most delicious thing ever. And trail mix."

"I see," Owen said with a smile.

They lay there in silence for a while. Cristina absentmindedly rolled one of the buttons on Owen's shirt between her fingers.

"Thank you," she sighed. Owen kissed her forehead, careful to avoid the stitches just below her hair line. Within a minute she was sound asleep.

Owen was worried. Her behavior was very similar to how it had been right after the shooting at the hospital and it had taken her months to recover from that. He loved holding her and would do it forever if she asked, but this wasn't really his Cristina. This kind of reaction was to be expected, of course- the crash must have been terrifying. Anybody would be traumatized by it- just like they would be by having a gun pointed at their head.

Gary Clark. What would have happened to them if he had never shown up that day? Owen thought back to the weeks leading up to the shooting. He had been distant and troubled as he fought through a recurrence of his PTSD. He had been stupid, too. Yes, he could admit to that. Then she'd dumped him and if he was honest with himself, he couldn't blame her. Somehow the shooting had brought him back to himself and clarified things, though he really wished it hadn't taken something like that to wake him up. Actually, no, he thought, it wasn't the shooting itself that did it, but rather how badly Cristina needed him during that time. He'd had to step up and do everything in his power to help her. He would do it again now if she let him.

'If she would let him' was the million dollar question. 'If she could forgive him' and 'if she could trust him again' were pretty important questions, too. If he was going to fight to get her back, maybe that was where he should start.

Owen felt himself start to drift off to sleep and knew he had to get up. She had been dead to the world for about 10 minutes, so he really had no excuse to stay any longer. He carefully got up, taking extra care not to jostle her shoulder.

Once he was on his feet, Owen took off running. He made phone calls and observed surgeries. He gave the families reports and eventually got the full FAA account of the crash and rescue- it turned out Cristina had been right about the boy scouts. He went out and got food. He coordinated a Skype session for Meredith and Derek with Zola using his laptop. More and more phone calls. More and more surgeries. Thatcher Grey showed up around noon and Owen spent some time helping him make arrangements for Lexie. In the end, Arizona spent the most time under the knife. They had trouble locating the source of her internal bleeding and they'd had to basically rebuild the top part of her leg. Owen checked in on Cristina whenever he got a chance. She was always sleeping soundly and as the day went on he got downright jealous.

Finally, at about 3 in the afternoon, things calmed down. Owen made his way back to Cristina's room and flopped down in the chair next her bed and fell asleep almost immediately.

* * *

Cristina woke up in a strange bed. She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. All of her joints felt stiff and she had to pee really badly. She had been in a plane crash. She had been awake for the whole thing- the falling sensation, the oxygen masks, the plane pealing away in pieces around her, and the impact. Lexie had died and Meredith had missed the chance to say goodbye. She had instructed Meredith to jam a sharp object into Mark's chest in the middle of the woods. They had been rescued and Owen had come. She felt tears start to pool in her eyes, but she blinked them away.

She looked to her left at the window. She couldn't tell if it was morning or evening. The light had that transitional look, but she had no concept of east or west or how long she had slept.

She looked to her right, saw Owen asleep in the chair by her bed, and smiled. He was slumped down in the chair with his arms crossed and his chin resting on his chest. He was going to have a very sore neck when he woke up, she thought. His hair was a sight. Whenever he was tired or stressed, he tended to run his fingers through it and mess with it more. She could always gauge how his day had been just based on how crazy his hair looked. Today had definitely been a rough day for him, she thought sadly.

His face was looking scruffy, too. He hadn't shaved in a couple days. She wanted to go over and touch it so badly. She loved the way his beard tickled her skin when it was like that. He was wearing the same clothes as when he had arrived- the gray and white striped shirt that his mom had given him for his birthday and black pants. You could tell which shoulder she had cried on- it was tear stained and extra wrinkly. He had lost his tie somewhere along the way. He was so beautiful, even though he was a mess. She wanted to go over and curl up in his lap.

Damnit, she thought, looking back up at the ceiling. It had to be PTSD again. That had to be why she was feeling like she couldn't live without him after she had convinced herself that she could. She was leaving. She had made that decision very carefully. It was for the best. It wasn't because she didn't love him. She would always love him, she wasn't trying to fool herself on that, but they wanted different things and she didn't want to risk hurting him again. She looked over at him again sleeping so peacefully. He was a good man, an honorable man with a good heart. He always tried to do the right thing, but when he was hurt or troubled, like from his PTSD, his decision-making could go horribly wrong. She could relate to that- she had a night of bartending under her belt to prove it. She knew the cheating wasn't her fault. That was him making a terrible decision or acting on a terrible impulse, or whatever. She knew she couldn't blame herself for it, and she had even forgiven him for it. She wasn't leaving because of the cheating. It had been so out of character for him. In a million years, she never would have guessed that Owen would ever cheat. He never would have done it if he hadn't been so deeply hurt. She didn't trust herself not to hurt him again. It had taken her too long to realize and accept how her actions had affected him. She wanted him to be happy and get the life he always dreamed of. Leaving was going to be the last time she would ever hurt him.

It wasn't fair of her to ask him for anything, plane crash or not. She had to be strong... right? Oh crap, she really had to pee now!

Cristina sat up and slowly turned and swung her legs off the bed. She scooted forward so she could put her feet on the floor, then she grabbed her IV stand and tried to use it to pull herself up. Unfortunately, its wheels where not locked, so her effort sent it sailing into the wall then crashing to the floor as she sat down hard back on the bed. The noise woke Owen with a start and he caught himself just before he fell out of his chair. She tried to suppress a smile, but failed.

"What? Wha-!" he gasped before noticing Cristina.

"I'm sorry," she said. "Runaway IV stand." It took Owen a moment to orient himself and process what had happened.

"Ahh," he said with a sheepish smile. "Were you trying to get up?"

"Yes. Bathroom." Owen jumped up and righted the IV stand, then offered her his arm to use to pull herself up.

"I'm sorry I woke you," she said.

"Don't worry about it," he replied as he walked her to the door of the bathroom.

When she opened the door to come out of the bathroom, Owen jumped out of his chair again to help her back to the bed. She accepted his arm, but said, "You don't have to do that." Owen helped her back into bed, then sat on the edge it facing her.

After a moment, he said, "I don't want you to be afraid to ask me for anything you need."

"Owen-" Cristina started to protest, but he cut her off by holding up a finger as if asking her to wait. He took a deep breath.

"I know that we're not- that we're-. I know you're leaving," he said. "but you can't expect me to let you go without knowing you're okay." Cristina looked down at her hands as tears came to her eyes once again. "I _need_ to know you're going to be okay. You've just been through something that- I can't even imagine how terrifying it must have been. I want to help you through this, so that when you go you can be at the top of your game and blow them all away." Cristina smiled as the first few tears started to roll down her cheeks. "You won't be taking advantage of me, you'll be putting my mind at ease."

Cristina couldn't meet his eyes, yet. Would she still be able to leave if she let herself fall into his arms again, even if it was just for a few days? If she pushed him away and tried to do it all on her own, would she even be able to? She had promised herself that leaving was going to be the last time she would ever hurt him...

She reached over and took his hand then raised her eyes to meet his. "Okay," she said.

Owen nodded, then lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks again for your support. Hope you enjoy this chapter :)

(update to fix a couple formatting things)

* * *

Owen was relieved. He had felt like her accepting his help was step 1, and it had already happened- and been easier than he had expected. He kissed her hand a second time, then looked in her eyes. "So, what do you need first? Food?"

"Yes!" she said emphatically. "I'm starving!"

"Okay," Owen said as he released her hand and stood up. "I'm going to assume you don't want hospital food-"

"OH GOD NO!" Cristina interjected.

"-so I'll go see about getting you discharged and do a quick round of our people so we can head out. I brought you clothes," he said pointing to a small suitcase in the corner, "and some other, uh, essentials, but of course we can stop and get anything you need." As he spoke he had edged closer and closer to the door and now his hand was on the doorknob. "So, I'll be back shortl-"

"Wait!" Cristina said putting her hand up. Owen froze. "What time is it? What day is it and where are we going after we check out?" Owen smiled and sat back down on the edge of the bed.

"It's six o'clock."

"In the morning?"

"No, the evening. You were rescued last night. You slept for about 14 hours. When we leave here we're going to a hotel Callie's father owns that's just down the street. He's set aside rooms for the survivors and their family members."

Cristina nodded and looked down at her hands. "How are- I mean, is everybody still..."

"Last I checked few hours ago everybody was stable."

Cristina nodded. "Ok, then go! Do- do everything you said a minute ago- go!" she ordered him. Owen jumped up and headed to the door, looking back to smile at her before he left the room.

Owen strode down the hall with renewed energy. First step: check. Next, he would do exactly what he said he would- take care of her and help her get back on her feet. He felt like he needed to rebuild her trust if she was ever going to forgive him for what he had done. They needed to talk and work through so many things, but he didn't want to pressure her- it wouldn't be fair after what just happened to her.

Owen walked straight up to the elevator and pushed the button to go down. He paced back and forth as he waited. He had to do this right, he couldn't mess this up, this was his chance- maybe his last chance. One thing that was for sure was that he was done fading into the background like he had done ever since that day- the day they called in sick when they weren't and she had asked him to leave. Life was too short, but he had to tread carefully, but he had to fight...carefully...He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. Screw it, he thought, I'll just play it by ear. The elevator door opened and he stepped inside.

Thirty minutes later, Owen turned the light off in Cristina's former room and they walked down the hall together. Owen looked at her sideways. "Are you limping?"

"Nope! Oh, look! Meredith's room!" They had reached Meredith and Derek's door. They could see through the crack that it was a full house- the two of them plus Meredith's dad and his girlfriend, and Derek's mom.

"We can wait if you want to try to see her," Owen said.

"No, it's okay. I'll just talk to her tomorrow." They turned and started heading down the hall, again.

"Is there anyone else you want to see before we leave?"

"No," Cristina said, looking down.

"They're calling you a hero, you know."

Cristina shook her head, "I was afraid of that." Owen looked at her curiously, but decided not to pursue it. He made sure to steer them clear of the others' rooms on their way out of the hospital.

Cristina wanted breakfast, so they went to a restaurant next to the hotel that served it 24 hours a day. Owen did most of the talking while they ate. He caught her up on the news from the hospital, including Teddy's departure. Cristina was surprised, especially about how sudden it was, but she was happy for her. Owen told her he had contacted Mayo and they had said she could take all the time she needed in getting there. Cristina didn't have anything to say on that topic, but she did want to know everything about the condition her fellow passengers. Owen could tell she was still miffed that they didn't let her scrub in or observe. He was glad they hadn't. It had gotten ugly in some of those surgeries. It was stressful enough for him to see their friends like that and he hadn't been through a plane crash.

Cristina didn't say anything about the crash or the other events of the day before during dinner. Even when they talked about Mark she didn't discuss what she had seen or what had been done to him in the field. Owen had thought for sure that she would have something to say about the pericardiocentesis, but she never brought it up.

After dinner, they finally headed to the hotel. Mr. Torres had given Owen a key card, so they didn't have to stop at the front desk. As they walked down the long hallway toward their room, an older woman with shoulder length gray hair carrying a dark haired toddler was coming toward them. "Arizona's mom," Owen whispered out of the corner of his mouth to Cristina.

"Crap!" she said as she fell back and started walking behind him, hoping to not be seen. It wasn't long before-

"Major Hunt!"

"Good evening, Mrs. Robbins, Sofia." He held out a finger for Sofia to grab, which she did, while returning his big smile.

"I told you to call me Barbara!" She scolded with a laugh. "Is that Cristina behind you?" she said excitedly, craning her neck to see around him.

"Oh, yes," he said, moving his body to block her view. He leaned forward and whispered, "She's still pretty shell-shocked."

"Awwww," Mrs. Robbins whispered back with a sad face, "the poor thing!"

Owen nodded in agreement. Mrs. Robbins tried again to see around him, but it was no good.

"Well, you tell her," Mrs. Robbins said not really whispering at all anymore, "that we think she is a GEM and a HERO and we hope she feels better SOON."

"I will," Owen whispered to her. They all awkwardly managed to get past each other in the hall, with Owen briefly trapped between the two women and the baby.

"We'll see you tomorrow!" Mrs. Robbins called as she walked away. Owen smiled and waved goodbye to Sofia, who smiled and flailed her arm at him.

When Mrs. Robbins was well out of earshot, Cristina linked her arm though Owen's, looked up at him and said, "Thank you."

"No problem," Owen said. When he met her gaze, he saw a twinkle in her eye, like she was thinking of dirty ways to thank him, but she quickly looked away.

When they got to the room, which was down at the very end of the hall, Owen unlocked and held the door open for Cristina to walk through. She took a few steps in, then stopped. Owen closed and locked the door then stood behind her to see what she was staring at. There were two beds. "Umm, if you'll be more comfortable with us sharing a bed, that's fine," Owen said. "I just didn't want to presume anything." Cristina nodded.

"Well," she said, "I need a shower in the worst way."

"Okay," Owen said. Cristina's shoulder was still very stiff and her range of motion was limited, so he had helped her with her buttons and zippers earlier when she was getting dressed. He went into the bathroom and started the water running. She followed him into the bathroom and started trying to unhook the sling her arm was in.

"Here, let me." He helped her take the sling off, unbuttoned all of the buttons on her shirt, and undid her jeans and helped her push them down over her hips.

"I think I got it from here," she said.

"Okay," Owen said, turning towards the door.

"Wait!" Cristina said. Owen turned back around. "Unhook my bra?" she asked, sheepishly.

Owen leaned toward her, reached around under her shirt with one hand and unhooked her bra with with a swift flick of his fingers. Cristina shook her head. "Show-off," she said with a smirk.

Owen looked back and winked at her as he left, then called out, "Let me know if you need anything!"

Owen sat down in one of the chairs that was in the little sitting area in the room. He was afraid he would fall asleep if he laid down. He rubbed his eyes. Those 3 hours of sleep he'd gotten in the chair in Cristina's room were all he'd had in the last 38 hours.

He thought things were going well. It was so nice just to spend time with her. It had been ages since they had even sat down to a meal together. He tried to remember the last time before tonight, then winced. The cereal incident. He was glad that anger in her had faded.

"Owen!" Cristina called from the shower. Owen jumped up and practically sprinted to the bathroom and stuck his head in the door.

"Yeah?"

"Umm," Cristina said peeking out from behind the shower curtain. "Can you help me wash my hair? I just- I have to keep the stitches on my forehead dry and my shoulder-"

"Of course, of course," Owen said, stepping into the room. He rolled up his sleeves and stepped toward the tub. Cristina stretched her good arm out and handed him the shampoo. Owen took a moment to compose himself. The first time he had ever washed Cristina's hair had been the day after their wedding. Since then, it had been one of their favorite forms of foreplay. When he pulled back the shower curtain, Cristina had her back to him and was covering her forehead with a dry washcloth. He couldn't resist a quick survey of her body, and what he saw made him gasp. "Oh, Cristina," he said sadly. She was covered with bruises all over her legs and back. There was a large purple area about the size of his hand on the back of her shoulder that was dislocated. She had severe bruising on her right side lower on her back. She looked like she had been beaten severely.

"Is it that bad?" she asked, peeking over her shoulder.

"What happened to your foot?" he said. One of her feet was swollen and mostly purple.

"Oh. I lost a shoe." Owen waited for her to elaborate, but she just turned away. He squeezed some shampoo into his hands and got to work.

"We should get that x-rayed tomorrow. Why didn't they x-ray it?"

"I don't know. It wasn't bothering me at the time."

"Is it bothering you now? It looks really painful."

"Maybe a little." Owen shook his head. He couldn't believe they had missed that during her exam. He finished washing her hair and rinsed it out. He had been a little concerned about controlling his libido, but his shock and anger at her condition made it less of an issue. When all the the suds were gone, he turned off the water and helped her step out of the tub. He gently placed one of the hotel's big fluffy robes over her shoulders. She pull it around herself then turned to face him. She looked up at him and he could tell she was searching for words.

"I fell out of the sky, what did you expect?" she finally said. Owen smiled and gingerly pulled her into a hug. He felt her relax into him as she rested her head on his shoulder.

After few moments, Owen reluctantly released her and said, "Alright, Icarus, my turn to shower." Cristina tried not to smile, but failed.

"Inappropriate, vaguely insensitive nicknames, are MY thing, you can't just-" she shook her head as she turned to leave. Owen chuckled. It was a rare treat to leave her speechless.

When Owen was done with his shower, he put on his pajamas and brushed his teeth. It looked like Cristina had managed to do the same by the things she'd left strewn around the sink area. He walked out into the bedroom and found that Cristina was in bed with the covers for the spot next to her turned down. She had placed the suitcase on the second bed. Well, I guess I know where I'm sleeping, he thought with a smile.

"Are you sure you're ready to go back to sleep already?" he asked her. "We could watch a movie or something."

"I already took a sedative," she replied. "And besides you are exhausted and don't even try to deny it." Owen shrugged and climbed into bed beside her. He turned off the lamp and she cozied up next to him. After about a minute of silence, Owen felt himself start to drift to sleep.

"Lexie Grey is dead." Cristina said with a crack in her voice.

"I know. I'm so sorry," he replied. Her words reminded Owen of years ago when O'Malley had died. Cristina had been in denial for over a month, and that one statement had been all she would say about him. Owen hadn't pushed her and over time she was able to talk about George, but Owen always felt like he could have handled it better. The same thing happened with the shooting. Whenever he brought it up, she'd say, "You know, you were there," then shut down. This time had to be different. He knew that talking about it might help her process what had happened and heal from it, so he decided to probe. "They said there was nothing that could have been done for her."

"I know," she said. "She knew it, too."

Owen's heart sank. They hadn't known yet whether or not Lexie had been conscious before she died. Meredith wouldn't talk about her and the rest of the group hadn't been in any condition to be asked yet. Thatcher Grey was anxious to know what his daughter's final moments had been like, but Owen had encouraged him to be patient with Meredith. It would be extremely difficult for him to hear that Lexie had suffered and that her death hadn't been instantaneous. Owen felt Cristina's tears start to soak through his shirt. He hugged her tighter and rubbed her back.

"We found her," Cristina continued. "Meredith, Sloan and I. She was awake and Meredith was worried about Derek, so I told her to go. And she did." She was reciting it as if she had played it over and over in her mind. "Mark popped my shoulder back into place and we tried to move the piece of the airplane that was on top of her, but it was too heavy to even budge. I asked her to run down her symptoms and she did." Cristina stopped. Owen could tell she was holding her breath. When she finally breathed, she sobbed. Owen kissed the top of her head and held her as tightly as he dared. After a minute she calmed down enough to speak again.

"Mark was in complete denial. I told Lexie I would be right back and I went to get Meredith, but I gathered things for Arizona to splint her leg and I stabilized Jerry's head, and by the time we got back it was too late." Cristina buried her faced in Owen's neck and sobbed again. Once she had calmed down again, Owen spoke.

"You had no way of knowing-"

"I should have! She was- I don't know how she survived as long as she did!" Her breathing started to get ragged again. "Why do things like this keep happening to me? I feel like I'm cursed!"

"You are not cursed."

"I hate it! These things happen, these random, horrible things happen and I just happen to survive and they call me a hero! I'm not a freaking hero."

"Cristina, you saved Mark and Arizona's lives and probably Derek's hand, if they had been out there any longer-"

"I'm a doctor, I did what any doctor would do. I just happened to be the most mobile and didn't have too much blood loss! Any of them would have done the same thing. Lexie was sitting right behind me. Two feet behind me and she's dead and I walked out of the hospital with my arm in a sling and a few stitches."

"It's not fair," Owen said. "It's not fair that things like this keep happening to you when you didn't choose to put yourself on harm's way. Nothing- none of it makes sense, but don't mistake the fact that you're an exceptional woman-"

"An exceptionally loud woman" Cristina interjected. Owen shook his head.

"Not everybody could have done what you did. You could have just huddled up and gone to sleep for the night, but you kept fighting and that made all the difference. You did everything you could, and when you're the one that get's lucky in those situations, that makes you a hero."

Cristina was silent for several moments. "You're the hero," she said. "You put yourself in harm's way."

Owen sighed. "It doesn't make it any easier."

"I know. I wish-" Cristina didn't finish her thought, but Owen had an idea of what it was. She wanted to make it better, to make him better. She'd always wanted to, but his experiences in the war were on the long list of things-they-don't-talk-about. He hoped maybe they had taken steps to keep the plane crash and Lexie off that list tonight and even though he couldn't give her any answers, he really thought venting would help Cristina get past what had happened to her. They'd had so much trouble communicating, maybe if they crossed another item off that long list of theirs, it would help them rebuild. Owen took a deep breath.

"Ask me anything."

* * *

Cristina woke up in a strange bed. She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. She was in a hotel room. Owen was with her. She had been in a plane crash and Lexie had died. She looked to her right where Owen should have been. He was gone, but directly in her eye line, hanging from the lamp on the nightstand, was a note that said, "Breakfast -O." She smiled, then groaned. She felt horrible. Her whole body hurt- most notably her shoulder. And her back. And her foot. The good pain meds she's gotten in the hospital had definitely worn off.

She thought back to the night before. She still couldn't believe he had talked about his time in the military. Before last night, with the exception of their "first date," he had only done so in the context of therapy sessions and even then only with a lot of coaxing. Last night, though, he had said, "Ask me anything." She had gone easy on him. She'd wanted to steer clear of anything that would be too traumatic, so she started by asking him about the medicine and the day-to-day process of it all, which she'd always been curious about. She was so mad that she's taken that damned sedative, because she was only able to stay awake for about 30 minutes. During that 30 minutes, she learned more about his time in Iraq than she'd ever known before. She'd always admired him for his service, but now it was multiplied tenfold. There was only one time during their talk when he had gotten emotional- when he'd told a story about someone named Dan. His voice had cracked and he had paused for almost a minute before continuing what he'd been saying. She would never forget that conversation for the rest of her life.

Just then, she heard the door open. Owen walked in with a bag of food and a beverage carrier that held four cups of coffee. "Hey!" he said.

"Hey! Who else did you get coffee for?"

"Oh," he said, setting the food and coffee on the night stand, "this is all for us." She smiled, what she was sure was a goofy grin. She wanted to grab him and kiss him silly. He kicked off his shoes and sat on the bed next to her. Cristina tried to push herself up to a sitting position with her one good arm, but she just couldn't. She laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, blinking her eyes to keep tears from forming. Owen leaned over her and asked, "How's your pain?"

She took a deep breath. "Seven. Or six."

Owen frowned. "Let me get your meds." He went to the bathroom and grabbed her medications, then gathered some pillows and helped her sit up with them behind her. They ate their breakfast in bed and when Cristina started to feel better they left for the hospital. It was slow going because Cristina's foot was worse than it had been the day before. She linked her arm into his and leaned on him the whole way.

The x-ray showed that she had a hairline fracture in one of the bones in her foot. They gave her a boot to wear, which she found kind of humiliating, but with her shoulder, there was no way she could use crutches and she wasn't about to go wheelchair. On the plus side, she got some better pain medications, so it was all worth it in the end.

After her exam, Cristina and Owen parted ways. He was going to check on the rest of the group while she went to visit Meredith. She wasn't looking forward to it, but she knew she had to face Callie and the rest of the family members. Owen pointed out that in her current condition the argument could be made that they shouldn't hug her, lest they aggravate her injuries. Cristina accepted this as a bright side. Since she didn't have a phone- it hadn't been recovered from the crash site yet, they agreed to meet down in the critical care unit where Mark and Arizona were. Owen would stay in that vicinity and watch for her.

Cristina made her way slowly to Meredith's room, cursing that stupid boot with every step. When she got there, she was relieved to find that Meredith was alone, except for Derek, who was sleeping.

"Hey," she said quietly as she limped into the room.

"Hey," Meredith replied.

"Where's your circus?" Cristina whispered.

"Getting coffee, thank God. I mean, they've been great and all, but it's nice to have a break." Meredith scooted over so Cristina could sit next to her. "You don't have to be too quiet, by the way. He had another surgery this morning and is still sedated." They both looked over at Derek. He was indeed asleep and his injured arm was in traction.

"How's he doing?" Cristina asked.

"I don't know. Nobody knows. His hand- there's still a chance he could lose it."

"Seriously?" Cristina was shocked.

"Yeah," Meredith said glumly. "Even if he doesn't lose it, he's looking at at least two years of therapy to regain normal functioning- and that's just normal functioning. Brain surgeons need to have better than normal functioning."

"I know. I'm sorry, that really sucks," Cristina said, taking Meredith's hand.

"So, we are not going to Boston."

"At least you have a Dreamhouse live in."

"I suppose." Meredith said. She stared at their hands for a few moments. "There is a room for you, you know." Cristina nodded. Meredith looked at her sideways and continued, "You can use it when you come to visit, I mean, if you're still leaving."

It was Cristina's turn to look down. Damnit, she thought. She hadn't let herself think about the fact that she was leaving since she had agreed to let Owen help her. She had just been enjoying being with him. She could feel Meredith staring at her.

"He's your person," Meredith said. Oh, God, not this again, Cristina thought.

"Oh, God, not th-" Cristina said out loud. "You know what? Fine. You're my person and he's my person. You can have more than one freaking person, I mean, who ever said it had to be just one, because that would be a stupid system. You're both my person."

Meredith glared at her. "It's not the same thi-"

"So? Who died and made you queen of the laws of personhood, I can have two if I want. And, I mean, what about Derek? What is he to you? You're married and you have a kid together, if that doesn't make him some sort of 'person' to you-"

"It is NOT the same thing."

"Whatever. I give up," Cristina said crossing her good arm in front of her and turning away. Cristina loved Meredith, but sometimes she drove her absolutely bonkers and this was a prime example. As far as she was concerned Owen was none of her business, anyway. Meredith was quiet for several moments before she spoke again.

"So, we've established that he is your person." Cristina just sat there and stared at some spot on the wall. "So...why are you leaving him?"

Cristina was aghast. She turned and looked at Meredith incredulously. "Are you kidding me? Like, two days ago you were telling me that I should leave, that we shouldn't be together-"

"I didn't know that he was your person then."

"Right. I only told you." Cristina turning away again.

"Well, I didn't get it then, but I do now. I mean...he made it okay for you to break down the night we were rescued. I couldn't even get you to sit down."

Cristina sighed. "Well, if the tables were turned, and he had been in the hospital bed and you had shown up-"

"I don't think so," Meredith interjected. "Anyway, I'm saying that I agree with you and that I understand. So, what I don't understand now, is why you're leaving."

"Well, I don't understand how you did such a complete 180 on him."

"I don't know how to explain it," Meredith said, furrowing her brows. "I mean, I thought he was like Burke."

Cristina scoffed, "He is not like Burke."

"Okay. I just- it seemed like he was trying to change you into something you're not." Cristina thought hard about how to explain it.

"He wasn't trying to change me. He just doesn't think I need to change to be that person. He thinks it's already part of who I am."

"Is it?"

Cristina rubbed her eyes. "I don't know. I mean- I decided to leave because we want different things, but at the same time, I know he loves me and would stay with me. I love him too much to let him give up a dream that important to him for me." It wasn't the whole truth, but she thought it was enough of it.

"Uh-uh."

Cristina and Meredith jumped. That sound had come from the other bed.

"Derek! You're awake!" Meredith said.

"How could I not be with you two around..." Cristina and Meredith looked at each other guiltily. "Anyway, you can't do that, Cristina."

"Do what?"

"Make that choice for him. It's not fair. If Meredith had decided she didn't want children, I would have stayed with her."

"It's not that simple."

"I know. But if that's the reason you're leaving, I think you need to reconsider or at least talk to him about it. Otherwise, you're the one who's like Burke."

Cristina almost jumped off the bed, "WHAT?"

Derek continued, "Burke left because he loved you and he thought you were giving up too much of yourself for him."

"He was right!"

"Maybe so, but he didn't talk it through with you. He could have taken you aside and had a conversation. He could have not disappeared without a trace. Does Owen know why you're leaving?"

"Wh- I-" Cristina was flummoxed.

"Have you told him why you're leaving?"

"He hasn't asked!"

"Well, then that's because he thinks he already knows." Cristina was speechless and tears were starting to burn her eyes.

"You know what? You're not like Burke," Derek said. "At least he gave you a reason."

"Derek!" Meredith scolded.

Cristina had tears streaming down her face. How dare he, how dare-...She had to talk to Owen. NOW. She got up off the bed and started hobbling toward the door.

"Cristina, wait!" Meredith called.

"Let her go," Cristina heard Derek say as she left. "You and I need to have a talk."

* * *

The first person Owen ran into after he and Cristina parted ways was Callie. She told him that Mark was in a bad way. It was normal for patients to experience post-operative agitation and even depression, but Callie said Mark's was well beyond normal. He wasn't taking Lexie's death very well, so Owen said he would go and visit him as soon as he could. He hadn't had a chance to see Mark while he was conscious yet, anyway.

When Owen reached Mark's room, he opened the door slowly and peered in. Mark was still hooked up to several machines and he looked pale and gaunt. He was staring blankly up at the ceiling.

"Mark?" Owen said quietly.

Mark turned his head and looked at him, then turned his face back up to the ceiling. "Chief."

Owen stepped further into the room. "How are you doing?"

"How do you think I'm doing?" Mark shot back. Whoa, Owen thought, Callie wasn't kidding. Owen wasn't sure what to say next. He took a couple more steps closer to Mark's bed.

"Is there anything I can get you or anything I can-"

"What's going on with you and Yang?" Mark said, turning his head and staring Owen down.

"Ummm-"

"How is it that you didn't know her plans and now I hear she's going to Mayo? What the hell?"

"Umm, Mark, I appreciate your concern, but it really isn't any of your-"

"What is it? Huh? What? Whatever it is it's not worth it."

"Mark, you really need calm down."

"No." Mark said firmly. "What is it? Is it the kids issue?" Owen took a step back, this was not happening. "That's part of what tore Lexie and I apart and I think if we had it to do over-"

"Mark, I-"

"Or- or- is it cheating? Did somebody cheat, because Lexie and I- that- that happened with us and let me tell you it's not-" Owen had turned pale and taken another step backwards and Mark noticed. "Is that it, man? You have to forgive her or get her to forgive you because, none of it matters-"

"Mark! You need to calm down, or I'm going to page someone to-"

"The day before the crash, Lexie told me that she still loved me, that- that- she was infected by me, that I was all she thought about, even after everything, all of the ways we hurt each other she was still in love with me and, and you know what I did? DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?"

Owen had moved closer to the door. He kept his eyes on Mark but called out, "Nurse!"

"I hesitated! And you know why? Because I had plans. Because I had some stupid ass plan or vision about how my life should be. I could have had one more day with her, one more day. Do you know what I would trade to have just one more day with her?" A nurse came in and started adding a sedative to Mark's IV.

"You know what I say? F*** PLANS! It doesn't matter how many plans you have, life can tear them to shreds in an instant. No plan is worth losing time with the person you love, because they are not easy to find! You don't go around tripping on soul mates everywhere you turn!" Mark's breathing was labored, but after a moment, it started to normalize and he started to relax. Owen stepped up to the bed and took Mark's hand.

"I could have had so much more time with Lexie, if I had fought. She pushed me away and I let her - I let her and I had plans..." Mark had tears streaming down his face.

"I'm so sorry, Mark" Owen said.

"You have to fight. You have to fix it before it's too late."

"I know. I'm working on it. I promise."

After another moment, Mark slipped into unconsciousness. Owen laid Mark's hand back on the bed. He quickly turned to leave and saw Cristina peering into the door. Her eyes were shining with tears.

When she saw him turn, she startled and turned to leave.

"Cristina!" Owen called out. He rushed out the door and she was about 4 feet away. She wasn't in any condition to make a quick getaway. "Cristina!" He said again, clearing the space between them in about two steps. He stepped in front of her to block her path. She stopped and they both stood panting for just a moment, before she grabbed him around the neck with her good arm and kissed him silly.


	6. Chapter 6

This was, by far, the most difficult chapter to write and I'll be really interested to hear what you think. This is essentially the last chapter, but I'm planning to do one more as a sort of epilogue. (It will be at least a couple weeks before I'm able to post it. )

Thank you again for your support! I wouldn't have been able to make it through without you! xx!

* * *

Owen was caught off guard by Cristina's kiss, but wasted no time in deepening it. Their encounter in the on-call room was only 3 days before, but it seemed like it had been an eternity since he'd kissed her. After several blissful moments, Owen thought he heard someone say "A-hem," but he was just moving one of his hands up into her hair and-

"A-HEM!"

Cristina and Owen separated their lips and looked toward the sound. A nurse standing behind the nurses station was staring at them looking aghast. "This is a hospital, not Inspiration Point!"

Owen felt his face turn red. He cleared his throat and said, "I'm so sorry." Cristina turned her face away from the nurse and clapped her hand over her mouth to keep from bursting out laughing. Owen gently placed his hand on the small of Cristina's back and ushered her quickly down the hall. "I wonder where the vent room is in this hospital," he mumbled. Cristina took her hand off her mouth hand laughed heartily, then said, "Oh! Ouch!"

Owen stopped in this tracks. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Cristina was holding her side and panting, but also smiling. Owen smiled back at her and chuckled. They had come to a stop about 6 feet into one of the waiting areas. Owen looked up in the direction they had been heading and saw Callie Torres charging down the hall toward them followed closely by her father, whom she was talking to over her shoulder. She looked seriously pissed. Owen looked left and right- there was nowhere to hide, so he swept Cristina up into his arms and carried her back into the hall they had just come from and into the first open door. Luckily it was an empty patient room. Owen set Cristina down and half a moment later, they heard Callie.

"I am going to KILL Owen Hunt. He was supposed to help Mark, not upset him worse and make him to have to be sedated!" They listened as Callie's voice continue to rant off into the distance.

Cristina looked up at Owen, "It wasn't your fault."

Owen nodded. "Let's get out of here so we can talk," he said. Cristina nodded solemnly. They started moving again, but this time more slowly. He didn't want to wear Cristina out and he needed to decide where they were going. It had to be somewhere they could talk. She had kissed him. She had made a move, but after their encounter in the on-call room 3 days ago, he didn't want to get his hopes up. He briefly considered heading back to their hotel room, but there was a bed there and he didn't want them to get caught up in the physical like they were prone to do, so he directed them outside. There was a little grassy area right next to the main entrance of the hospital that had shady trees and park benches. They sat down on the first bench they came to.

They hadn't spoken since the near-miss with Callie. Suddenly, it felt incredibly awkward. Owen looked over at Cristina. She had her eyebrows furrowed slightly and was staring straight ahead. He wanted to give her a chance to say what she was trying to say, but after more than a minute, he had to break the silence.

"Did you get to see Meredith?"

Cristina nodded. "Just for a couple minutes. Derek woke up."

"Oh, okay," he said. Several more moments passed. Maybe if he got the ball rolling..."How much did you hear?"

"Huh?" she said, giving him a confused look.

"Of Mark. Of what Mark said."

"Oh. Most of it," Cristina said turning her head away again. "I saw you go in his room from down the hall and got there just as he started questioning you about us."

He looked at her for a few moments to see if she would continue, but when she didn't, he relaxed back onto the bench and looked off into the same distance she seemed so entranced by.

Something had happened during her visit with Shepherd and Grey, Owen thought. Whatever it was had sent her running back to see him, yet when he saw her in Mark's doorway, she had tried to flee. And then that kiss. She was all over the place. Meredith must have talked to her about where they stood, and then Mark- well, he had certainly forced the issue, too. She had been in a plane crash just two days ago. "Cristina, we don't have to do this right now," he finally said. "You've been through an extremely traumatic experience and I didn't want want to push you. I'm sure you're feeling overwhelmed and if you're not ready to deal with all this-"

"It's okay," she said. "I started it."

"Actually, I think Mark and maybe Meredith started it."

Cristina smiled. "Nope, it was Derek." Cristina sighed. "I want to do this now. I really do, I just need a few minutes to...collect my thoughts."

"Okay," Owen nodded. "Maybe I'll go check on Mark, then."

"That's a good idea. Meet me back here as soon as you're done," Cristina said. Owen nodded again and started to stand up, but he felt her hand on his arm. He sat back down and scooted over next to her and wrapped his arms around her. She rested her head on his shoulder.

* * *

Cristina's mind was swirling. She was confused and her mind was tired even though she had slept a ton since the rescue. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She loved his scent. It was intoxicating, HE was intoxicating- everything about him. It was exactly why she had been reluctant to let him help her, because now that she was back in his arms, she didn't want to leave and she had been sure it was the right thing to do. This felt right. This felt like it was supposed to. It hadn't been like this for so many months. Ever since that day. The day that another plane had crashed and there had been only one survivor. She had found out she was pregnant and everything had gone to hell. The night before, he had told her she wouldn't be chief resident and she had been burning mad until she realized it was for the best. That night she had promised Owen that she would be excellent in bed and she had delivered. Then the next morning everything had gone to hell.

She raised her head off his shoulder and sat up straight. "Okay, go check on Mark and I'll be here. If Callie comes at you duck down to the left."

Owen chuckled as he stood up. "Be back in a few."

"Okay," she said. She watched him walk away for as long as she could still see him, then she slumped back on the bench. He still wanted to be with her. He had said so to Mark, but she was having trouble wrapping her mind around it after everything that had happened. She had told him she was leaving. He, himself, had been ready to leave back on Valentine's Day before she asked him not to. He had said it hurt to love her, but then he had said she was the love of his life. She didn't know what had changed. She didn't know how it had changed. She hadn't changed, she thought, why would he change his mind? He had been so persistent about the idea of having children and he had been so hurt by the abortion. Could he really, truly move on from those things? She wanted to just accept it, but was finding it difficult. She had thought before that he had moved past it, but then discovered she was very wrong.

Derek was right. She had to tell Owen why she decided to leave. She owed him that, even if it turned out that he couldn't move past what happened. The problem was, now she wasn't sure her reasons were still reasons. No, she thought, her reasons were still reasons, she just wasn't sure whether she was willing to let them be deal breakers. But, no, they had to be deal breakers! She rubbed her eyes. She had to slow down and try to think this through. She took a deep breath.

She knew that when she told Owen why she had made her decision, he would say that he was over what happened and okay with not having kids. The problems were: she felt like she was going to have a hard time believing him, and even if she did believe him, she wasn't sure that she was okay with him giving up that dream for her. If they were going to be together one of them would have to make a sacrifice. For Owen, it would be potentially missing out on something he had always wanted- something he always thought would be part of his life and legacy. For her, it would mean getting something she never wanted. Something that would put incredible demands on her physically and emotionally. Most people thought those demands were worth it, but she wasn't sure.

Before Owen, the only thing she had ever wanted was to be a surgeon- the best cardio-thoracic surgeon in the world. Everything she had done since her father had died had been about reaching that goal, even her past relationships. She had grown to love Burke in a way- she couldn't deny that, but she also couldn't deny that a large part of her attraction to him had been the fact that he was a cardio god. When Owen came along, he had defied the logic she had always applied to her life. She didn't get swept away by things, she was a scientist. She made decisions with her head, based on facts and concrete evidence, but being with Owen hadn't even felt like a choice. Their connection had been instant and incredibly intense and that was something she had never expected. He had been good for her, she thought. He understood things about her that nobody else did. He had softened her. He had given her a home. She never expected to enjoy being someone's wife. Cristina only gave her time and energy to things she felt passionate about and Owen was the only thing besides surgery that had ever met that criteria. She didn't think she had it in her to feel that way about being a mother, too. It didn't have anything to do with how much she loved Owen. In fact, she could see herself agreeing to do it for his sake and not because she herself wanted it and she didn't think that would be fair to the child.

She thought back again to that long ago night when Owen had told her he wasn't going to make her chief resident. He had said she was a surgeon and anything that kept her from being a surgeon would make her crazy and she would end up hating it. Then the very next day, he was trying to convince her to have a baby. She wasn't sure why Owen thought she could handle one, but not the other. She knew the two things were different. Chief resident would have directly impacted what she had to do on the job. The extra work it caused would have eaten into her surgery time. Look at what happened to poor Kepner, she thought. As far as being a mother, well, that didn't stop when you walked into the hospital. It was with you all the time and would have to take priority in some circumstances. Meredith had been doing fine being a mom and a doctor, so far. Better than fine, actually. She had been more well prepared for the boards than any of them and had even taken the time to help Cristina and the others study using her 'Grey Method.' Meredith had logged more than enough hours in the OR, too. She had been able to do that because Derek had stepped up. Huh, Cristina thought, Owen would kick Derek's ass at stepping up if he had the chance.

Cristina sighed. She wished she could tell Owen why she didn't want children, but she wasn't even sure she knew herself. She just didn't. If she thought she could want them, things would be totally different, but she couldn't even imagine it. She just didn't have any 'maternal instincts.' She didn't feel gooey when she saw babies. She didn't feel any yearning when a baby smelled good (which in her experience was a rare event). She had never even played with dolls when she was a kid, which had driven her mother bonkers. Every year for her birthday her mother give her some uber-creepy doll covered in lace and frills and Cristina would never even take them out of the box. That had actually turned out in Cristina's favor, though, because she sold all those mint condition dolls when she went to college and made a hefty sum of money.

Cristina had, of course, heard the clich that you feel different when it is your own kid. She thought it was a huge leap of faith to assume that. Actually, she thought, it was kind of different with Zola. She didn't mind her. They had bonded during the first few days Meredith had Zola. Meredith and Derek and she and Owen had been fighting, so Cristina had been Meredith's primary helper. It had been awkward at first, but she had gotten the hang of it. She didn't mind being the little squirt's godmother. Suddenly, Cristina felt her throat tighten. What would she have done if Meredith and Derek had died in this plane crash? Cristina felt tears start to come to her eyes. She had joked in the past about boarding school, but she didn't actually know what she would do. She needed to talk to Meredith about it, because they called Cristina Zola's godmother, but their wasn't any legal documentation of it. If Meredith and Derek really, actually wanted Cristina to raise Zola, would she do it? Cristina closed her eyes and took a deep breath...damnit. She would. Not for Meredith's sake, but for Zola's.

* * *

Owen peeked into Mark's room. Callie was there alone, sitting in a chair by his bed. She saw him out of the corner of her eye and gave him the evil eye. Owen's heart sank. She had obviously been crying. He walked in the room slowly and closed the door behind him- just in case there was yelling. "How's he doing?" he asked.

"Hard to say, he's sedated," she hissed at him.

"I'm so sorry, Torres," he said. "I didn't- I really didn't mean do anything to provoke him. After we exchanged greetings, he started questioning me about what's going on with Cristina. He went on a tirade about how nothing is more important than being with the person you love."

Callie looked over at him. "He's right."

"I know."

Fifteen minutes later, Owen headed back downstairs. Mark was stable and his vitals weren't any worse than they had been before the incident. Owen was relieved, but he felt so bad for Mark. He knew he would be in the exact same state if he ever lost Cristina.

He walked out of the hospital and saw Cristina on the bench right where he had left her.

"Hey," he said as he walked over to the bench. She flinched as if she had been startled, but gave him a little smile as he sat down.

"How's Mark?"

"Still sedated, but stable."

Cristina nodded.

"How are you?" Owen asked.

"I'm fine," Cristina said, but Owen wasn't sure whether to believe her. She looked nervous. He tried to keep that from worrying him too much. He had faith in them and in her.

After a moment, she continued. "I came to find you earlier because I realized that I hadn't told you why I decided to leave."

"Okay," Owen said warily.

"I decided to leave because we didn't want the same things," she finally said.

Owen was confused. He had been thinking all along that the primary reason she was leaving was because of the cheating. "What- what do you mean?"

"You want kids and I didn't."

"I want you," Owen said. "None of it- I don't want any of it if it's not with you." Cristina looked down at her hands. Owen was dumbfounded. "So, you're leaving me so I can have children with someone else?" Cristina kept staring at her hands. "The only thing that's guaranteed if we separate is that we won't be together and I don't want that."

"I hurt you," she said. "Badly."

"Ditto," he said. She finally looked up at him as he continued, "Do you still want to be with me? Is this really the reason you're leaving?"

"The- What happened seriously messed you up."

"It did. What happened. All of what happened. Not just the abortion. I got over that."

Cristina shook her head, "You made it clear that you don't forget something like that," Owen winced. Of all the regrets the had collected over the past several months, his outburst at Zola's birthday party was among the worst. "-and you certainly don't just get over it."

"I didn't 'just' get over it," Owen said. "It took time and it wasn't easy by any means. I was in denial for such a long time. I tried. I tried so hard convince myself that I was okay with the whole thing. I really wanted to be okay with it because I love you. I knew that if we were going to be together, I'd have to figure out how to get past it, I just- I didn't handle it very well." Owen rubbed his eyes. They had been almost back to normal when Henry Burton had died. Leading up to that night, they had lost themselves in doing whatever felt good, then all at once all the things they had buried started to come bubbling up to the surface. The day of Zola's party it had all come flooding back in the form of, "Anger," Owen said. "I, let it build up and...I'm sorry, Cristina. I'm so sorry that it came out in public like that." Cristina nodded. She hadn't been blameless in all of it. In fact, if they were going to get back together and work at a hospital together, they would need to have some serious discussions about some of the things that happened, but one thing at a time, Owen thought.

"You got angry," Cristina said. She paused and then shook her head as if coming to a realization. "Then came the bargaining and depression." She wiped a tear from her cheek. "You grieved."

Owen sat back on the bench. He hadn't thought about it like that, but he supposed he had gone through the stages of grief. He didn't think it had just been for the child, but also for the whole idea of having children. He felt like he had made peace with the possibility of that not happening. "Don't forget acceptance," he said. Cristina was wiping tears from her eyes more quickly now. "People grieve for all kinds of things. I was with somebody for years because we had the same goals. I think I thought that's what love was about, what marriage was about. It was a means to an end. One step closer to the American dream. That 2.5 kids with a picket fence thing that is really wonderful for some people. Then I went to Iraq and..." He wasn't sure how to explain it. Cristina was looking at him, but he couldn't meet her eyes. "I realized love was about the next heartbeat, and the one after that, and the one after that. It's about passion and building something that isn't just about what you can get from it. With this- the kids thing, I wasn't trying to use you, I was trying to enrich us. Then, I did a horrible thing and when I thought about the consequences of it I didn't think, 'I might never have children.' The same thing- when I heard your plane was missing-" Owen's throat tightened and he waited a moment so his voice wouldn't break when he continued. "The only thing I was scared of losing was you."

He finally glanced over at her. There were tears streaming down her face. He took her into his arms. "You didn't answer my question," he said. "Do you still want to be with me?" Cristina nodded. Owen sighed with relief. He kissed the top of her head. He kissed her forehead. He kissed her left eye followed by her right and he could taste her tears on his lips. He kissed her gently on the mouth.

"You didn't think I still wanted you?" he asked.

"I think that was part of it, deep down," she said, "but I also didn't want you to miss out on something so important to you because of me. That isn't an issue anymore, though."

Owen wasn't sure what she meant. Did she mean it wasn't an issue because he was okay with it or because she had changed her mind? "What do you mean?" he asked.

"I think- I think I could do it," she said tentatively.

"Cristina, you don't have to say-"

"I'm not just saying it," she said more forcefully. Owen's mind was reeling. This was the last thing he expected. He didn't know what to think. Cristina continued, "I never thought I could ever want a child. I-I can't explain it, but I'm a scientist and I needed evidence."

Owen was terribly confused, "Evidence?"

Cristina nodded. "Zola. I thought- if Meredith and Derek had died in the crash- I'm the godmother and it would be up to me to raise her and I realized that I would."

Owen felt his jaw clench and his stomach turn. "So," he said, "you would do it for Meredith."

"No!" Cristina said. "No, it's not-" she turned and took his face in her hands. "She is not more important to me than you. You are my person and I love you more than anyone." They both had tears pouring down their faces. Cristina rested her forehead against Owen's. "Not for her, for Zola. Before Meredith had a kid and we talked about me being the godmother, I said definitively that I would NOT raise the child. No way. Never. It's different now that I know Zola and I never thought that would ever happen. She's the evidence." Owen could feel Cristina trembling as if she were scared, but there was no need for her to be.

"Okay," he said before initiating a kiss that would rank highly among the most passionate they ever shared in public.


	7. Epilogue

Thank you again to everyone who read and commented on this story. I'm sorry the ending was so abrupt! Real life got in the way! If I write in the future, I will stick to one-shots! Thanks, again!

* * *

Later that afternoon, Cristina made her way back up to Meredith and Derek's room. She found Meredith awake with a sleeping Zola was laying next to her on the bed. Cristina couldn't help breaking into a big smile.

"Heeey!" she said softly. "When did the pipsqueak get here?"

"This morning," Meredith said with a smirk. She knew something and Cristina was sure it wouldn't be long before she- "Alex and April brought her. They saw you and Owen macking down on a park bench right in from of the hospital."

Cristina chuckled quietly, then whispered, "I thought I heard somebody who sounded like Karev yell 'Get a room!'"

"You don't have to be too quiet. Zola could sleep through an air raid siren."

"Oh really? That's what you said about Derek, too."

Meredith shrugged and rolled her eyes.

"Where is he, anyway?" Cristina asked as she sat down on Derek's empty bed and put her feet up.

"Post-op scans. So, I guess you and Owen worked things out?"

"We're starting to."

"You forgave him?"

Cristina nodded. "And he forgave me." Meredith furrowed her eyebrows and looked down. Meredith didn't like to think that Cristina ever did anything wrong. Cristina appreciated that sometimes, but she knew that wasn't the most productive outlook.

"You were worried about the two of you not wanting the same things," Meredith said without looking up.

"We want to be together and that's the most important thing." Neither of them said anything for several moments. Cristina could feel Meredith's questions hanging in the air, but she was done answering them. She didn't feel the need to share every detail of her relationship with Meredith- a trait she wished Meredith shared. Finally, Meredith broke the silence.

"So, you're staying in Seattle?"

"I don't know yet." Cristina said resolutely. She saw Meredith frown out of the corner of her eye. Cristina set her jaw, daring Meredith to ask another question. Cristina and Owen had decided that they were not going to break up- ever- but they still had work to do and a lot of things to figure out. One kiss and one conversation didn't magically fix everything, but they were going to fight through it all. She didn't have any doubt that they could do it. It was going to be different this time. It already was different and it had everything to so with the two conversations they'd had in the last 24 hours, she thought- earlier on the park bench and the night before in bed, when Owen had finally talked about his time in the Army. They decided to talk about things even if it hurt, because putting it off only made it worse. They were also going to make major decisions together. Where she was going for her fellowship would be the first.

Meredith sighed in defeat, resigned to the fact that Cristina had shared all she was willing to for now.

"So," Cristina said, sitting up straighter. "How did you do?"

"What do you mean?" Meredith said suspiciously.

"When I was leaving earlier, I seem to remember Derek saying that the two of you needed to have a talk."

"Oh, right," Meredith sighed again. She looked down and started fiddling with the fringe on the blanket that was covering Zola. "Well," she said, "it turns out I have 3 people. You, Derek, and Zola."

Cristina smiled and settled back onto the bed. She turned to Meredith and said gently, "That's the way it should be, you know."

"I know," Meredith said sheepishly.

* * *

Five years later...

It was a typical rainy spring night in Seattle and Cristina and Owen were holed up in the firehouse. Owen was still the Chief of Surgery and Cristina was the head of cardiothoracics at Seattle Grace. Cristina had stayed in Seattle for her fellowship and had taken over as lead researcher on Teddy's stem cell study. The results of her work had been ground-breaking and now she was practically a household name. She had already been on the cover of a medical journal and she had been profiled in a feature in Newsweek about medical breakthroughs. She had always figured that she would make her name by fixing hearts rather than by growing them, but that was just one of the ways her life hadn't turned out exactly like she had planned.

The month after the plane crash, Owen had a speaking engagement at Northwestern to talk about the trauma certification and emergency preparedness program he had instituted at Seattle Grace. The presentation was very well received and he had another speaking engagement the following month and two more the month after that. Before long, he was in very high demand and traveling almost weekly until he realized all that time away was hurting the hospital. His realization just happened to coincide with Cristina putting her foot down about it, as well. Since then he had limited his travel to no more than one trip a month. He had done research and collected information from hospitals that had employed his methods and published a couple of journal articles. In a few months, he would be taking an extended leave of absence to work on writing a book that brought together all of his research. He would also be spending some of his time off focusing on a joint project he and Cristina had been working on, which they had found out earlier that day was a boy.

They went out to dinner then came home and celebrated getting the news. Owen was tired and ready to fall asleep, but he knew it might be a while before that happened. He was spooning Cristina and she was restless. He pulled her a little closer and mumbled into her hair, "What's on your mind?"

Cristina sighed, "Names."

"Oh!" Owen grinned into the back of her head. "Any in particular?"

Cristina paused for several moments. "I'm thinking...Ethan."

Owen chuckled. "Ethan?"

"Yeah!"

"Ethan Hunt?"

"Um, yeah. Why is that funny?"

"It's a fictional character."

"It is?"

"Yeah, from TV and movies."

"Which ones?"

"Mission Impossible."

"Oh," Cristina said. "Huh. Well, that's kind of appropriate, actually."

"Heeey," Owen gently scolded her.

Cristina turned around, took his face in her hands, and gave him three quick kisses. "I'm sorry," she said as she snuggled into his chest.

"It's okay," he said. Pregnancy had done nothing to dull Cristina's wit. He wasn't too bothered by the joke. He knew she had made it because she was scared and having your first child was a special kind of scary.

Owen held his breath and waited to see how she was going to react to what had just happened. After a few moments, he was sure she wasn't going to cry, so he relaxed a bit. Cristina's pregnancy hormones made her very sensitive when it came to him. He had to be careful not to make mountains out of molehills, because everything seemed like Everest to her lately, particularly when it came to his well-being. A few weeks ago he had sneezed a couple of times while he was working on the nursery and she had called their G.P. after hours and convinced him to call in a prescription for Owen for antibiotics. A week ago, Owen had gotten a minor cut from a stray scalpel during surgery and Cristina had cried for the better part of an hour and read the poor intern involved the riot act. He kissed the top of her head. "Are there any other names you like?"

"Oh," she said, "I don't know."

"We could name him after your dad."

Cristina was silent for a moment. "Daniel," she said, trying it out. "Daniel Hunt...I don't know. The kid is already going to have Yang as a middle name. I think that's tribute enough." Cristina and Owen had gone round and round about the last name issue. Cristina didn't like the way their names sounded hyphenated. She had said it would either sound like the kid was going on a Yang hunt or that they were going out to hunt Yang. She found it incredibly distracting that Owen's last name was a verb. In the end they had decided Hunt would be the last name and Yang would be the middle name. "Do you like the name Daniel?" she asked.

"I like Daniel, or Dan," Owen said.

"Do you want to name him after Dan from your unit?"

"No" Owen said honestly after a moment. "It's just a good name. And your dad's name."

"Well," Cristina said, "we can put it on they maybe list."

"There's a maybe list?" Owen said incredulously.

Cristina nodded. "So far it includes Daniel and Ethan."

"Cristina, I just-" Owen sighed. "We can put Ethan on the maybe list if you watch the Mission Impossible movies. You should at least know who people are going to think we're naming him after."

Cristina considered it for a moment. "How many movies are there?"

"3 or 4," Owen replied. Cristina had probably watched a total of 3 or 4 non-surgical movies in the whole time he's known her.

After a few more moments of consideration, Cristina grunted, "uhgh, what's the big deal, anyway?"

"I knew a guy in the service whose name was Jason Bourne and he never heard the end of it."

"Who's Jason Bourne?"

Owen groaned, but then scooted down so he could kiss her twice. "We have got to get you out more!"

Cristina smiled. "Whatever." She kissed him back then snuggled back into him like she had been before.

"So, what is it about Ethan, anyway?" Owen asked.

"I don't know," Cristina said. "I mean, I like the sound of it."

"Well, then we ll find something else that sounds like it. How about Ian?"

"Meh. No."

"Evan?"

"Hmmmm, nope."

Owen wracked his brain for something that sounded like Ethan, but wasn't Ethan.

"Ephraim?"

"WHAT? No!"

"Wha-? It's a real name!"

"I know, but- are you serious?"

Owen chuckled. "I suppose not." He couldn't see her, but he knew Cristina was rolling her eyes. He continued, "At least with Ephraim, there wouldn't be twenty other kids in his class with the same name."

"Hmph," Cristina said. "I want our son to be exceptional because of who he is, not because of what he's named." Owen felt a lump form in his throat. She has said 'our son,' like it was the most normal thing in the world, like it was real. It was real. He didn't dare speak, for fear his voice would break. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek on the top of her head.

"I remember!" Cristina said suddenly, jolting Owen out of his revere. She laughed heartily.

"What?" Owen said finally.

"Ethan was one of the boy scouts!"

"Ahhh," Owen chuckled. After some time had past, Cristina had regaled him with stories about the boy scouts that aided in the rescue after the plane crash. The way she told it, they were a modern day version of the seven dwarves. "Which one was Ethan?"

"Doc, of course!" They both busted out laughing.

"Well," Owen said after they were finally breathing normally again, "we don't have to decide on a name tonight."

"I know..." Cristina said.

Owen sighed, "But?"

"But, I don't know if I'll be able to sleep until we get this settled."

"Why don't you just try," Owen said. "Please? Give it five minutes."

"Ok," Cristina said reluctantly.

Owen knew it was a long shot. He knew it, but he closed his eyes anyway. About 30 seconds later he felt himself start to drift off.

"Nope! Not working!" Cristina blurted out before reaching over to her beside table and grabbing her phone.

Owen groaned inwardly. "What's that for?"

Cristina sat up and turned on the light. "I've got some baby name sites book marked."

At just before 3 o'clock in the morning, Cristina and Owen named their son Nathan Yang Hunt.


End file.
